Longer Days, Lighter Mind

Big Sky Thinking

I don’t know about you, but every year when spring starts to move towards summer and the days grow longer, something changes in me.

People gather more, festivals begin, weddings, holidays and family celebrations fill the calendar. The evenings stretch later, the weather softens, and the world somehow feels lighter. It’s as though life itself is inviting us back out of hibernation, not just physically, but emotionally too.

Summer asks us to step out into the world and be seen, but for many of us, that can clash with the thoughts we carry in our own heads after spending years trying to be accepted.

We spend so much of our lives chasing the approval of others. Changing ourselves to make sure we are accepted, agreeable and easy to like. We try not to upset people, even when it comes at the cost of our own peace. We say yes when we really mean no. We shrink ourselves to fit the version we believe will make us worthy of belonging.

For many people, life becomes one long search for validation and it’s exhausting.

I can clearly remember my twenties being shaped by trying to become the version of myself that matched other people’s expectations so I would fit in.

My thirties became about figuring out who I really was, and feeling every uncomfortable moment of standing out instead of blending in. It was lonely at times, uncomfortable at times, and there were definitely moments where I genuinely believed something must be wrong with me because I didn’t quite fit the mould I thought I was supposed to fit into.

Somewhere as I moved into my forties, something changed.  I realised that peace doesn’t come from being liked by everyone. It comes from being able to look at yourself honestly and still choose yourself anyway.

Some people spend a lifetime never reaching that realisation. They spend years becoming everything to everyone else while slowly becoming nothing to themselves.

As we move into these lighter nights, maybe this is the perfect time to stop hiding parts of ourselves and allow more visibility to the person we were actually born to be, the version of us that feels authentic, fulfilled and genuinely happy, rather than simply acceptable to everyone else.

Yes, that can feel vulnerable. Being fully yourself often does, but vulnerability is also where growth lives.

Towards the end of June, we experience the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, and there’s something beautifully symbolic about that. A reminder that we are allowed to stand fully in our own light.  No dimming yourself to keep others comfortable.  No waiting for permission.  No apologies for who you are becoming.

Liking yourself is a journey. It’s about waking up each day and choosing yourself and what truly matters to you. It’s about creating and living your own identity rather than performing one for acceptance, and that isn’t always easy.

When I finally started truly loving myself in my forties, I realised there were people I lost along the way. Some people only liked the version of me that made them comfortable or happy. At the same time, I started seeing things much more clearly, my goals, my future, my dreams and, most importantly, the people around me who genuinely wanted my happiness and success as much as I did.  The people who supported me even when I wasn’t in the room, who celebrated my growth instead of feeling threatened by it.

Pride Month, celebrated throughout June, feels deeply connected to this idea too. It reminds us that authenticity is not something to apologise for. There is incredible courage in deciding to live openly, honestly and fully as yourself in a world that often encourages people to hide parts of who they are to feel accepted.

For many of us, the people we grew up around shaped the way we viewed ourselves and our worth. We mirror those around us long before we fully understand who we are ourselves. With Father’s Day also falling this month, it’s a chance to reflect on the people who helped shape our identities, both positively and negatively.

For some, that meant encouragement, emotional support and learning what healthy love and self-worth looked like. For others, it may have created a need to constantly seek approval, make people proud or become a people pleaser because love felt conditional.

So many adults are still carrying the belief that they have to earn acceptance.  Healing often begins when we stop asking other people to confirm our value and start recognising it ourselves.  Now, this isn’t about pretending we don’t care what other people think or disregarding how we make others feel. It’s about caring enough about ourselves not to abandon who we are just to keep everyone else comfortable.

That’s where self-respect and boundaries become so important.  We stop performing for acceptance.  We learn that we can be kind without betraying ourselves, compassionate without abandoning our boundaries, and loving without needing everyone to love us back.

So let this be the summer you stop apologising for who you are.  Stop auditioning for acceptance.  Step fully into your own space and start creating a life that feels true to you, not one designed to earn approval from everyone else.

The people who are truly meant for you will never require you to become someone else first. Maybe the question was never, Do they like me?  Maybe the real question is, Do I feel like myself here?